Sitting on the ground is attributed to slavery, where slaves had no choice but to sit and sleep on the ground. In this context, standing is a sign of dignity and respect for oneself, for others, for one's heritage, and for struggle against slavery and oppression as a whole. Therefore, to sit is not only degrading to oneself, but also mocks the history and the status of those around you. For me, as a white person, to sit on the ground not only shows my ignorance, but it is also a display of power and privilege. So for the past month, I have unknowingly been mocking everyone who has and does struggle against the legacy of colonialism.
I make mistakes here constantly-- and that is not an exaggeration. Bringing a fruit salad to a Créole dinner, setting the table with forks instead of dessert spoons, taking wrong buses, using the formal and the informal subject pronouns at all the wrong times, speaking generally awful French, not knowing Créole... I could go on, but for interest's sake, I won't. It is easy to get wrapped up in all the things I'm messing up here, but as the woman behind me in the check out line reminded me today: "relaxe." "Ah, yes," I thought, "rule number 1, how could I forget?"
But as with most things here, it's not as simple as just knowing it. Living here isn't a test that you can cram for, get a B on, and move on. As I've said before, I'm often not sure when I'm being tested, but it's days like yesterday when I know that I'm learning a lesson. In the case of sitting on the ground, I learned a lesson that leads to other lessons, other questions, other conversations, and hopefully, more lessons.
These lessons, these mistakes, these questions are all reminders of how many steps I've taken in the last month. While I'm not sure in which direction I'm walking, I'm certain that I'm moving-- and that in itself is reassuring. So I've gotta keep questioning, keep adjusting, keep trying, and then, if I'm lucky, I'll keep learning too.
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